Mags

Lost

Directionless, shamed and worthless.

My Agony as a Hockey Player…

As my previous blog as suggested I’m going all healthy. I’m not drinking, not smoking and avoiding all vice in my life. I’ve joined a local Hockey team and trained for the first time with them last week. As I was so unfit I found the going a little difficult and for the next 3 days I was in complete agony. In fact today, Wednesday, 6 days after training I still have a few aches and pains. However, I may be a little rusty, but I still do have a few skills and am actually quite good for someone who hasn’t played for 5 years. I played for Wigan Juniors and Hindley in my youth so I wasn’t totally shit.

Anyway, I’m still experiencing a little pain. A little pain in my arse, quite literally. It would appear that I have a little trapped nerve causing pain in my arse. It’s actually quite painful to walk let alone fun about with a hockey stick. I’ve got training tomorrow and a match at the weekend and don’t think I could cope if I wont be able to play. It’s all I’ve been looking forward to and the only thing that’s stopping me is a stupid nerve. I have the will, the ambition and the ability.

I’ve considered a whole range of things to help me. My friend Louise has recommended some exercises to help me with the ailment. The exercises are exactly the same as those women do post pregnancy to, erm, tighten up. They’re those pelvic floor exercises which are also used when women have problems with bladder control. So, even if I don’t untrap that bastard nerve at lease I’ll be as tight as a virgin and wont piss myself.

But seriously, I’d be very upset if I’m unable to train or play as nowadays this sport is my only pleasure.  

I no longer drink…

I know I know. I’ve said this before. I’ve even written a blog on the benefit of binge drinking. But guess what, I’m on a health march. I’m giving up the ale on all occasions bar important occasions (because alcohol is essential of course).

And the reason I’ve made this life changing decision…? There are many. 

I’m sick of my hangovers.

They waste so much of my life. If I’m spending two days a week hungover then I’m not spending it doing something that’s of use i.e. cultural pursuits or general healthy living (exercise or sporting activities). I’m also not a nice person when I’m hungover. I don’t want to talk to people, I’m grumpy and I generally feel ill. 

If people know you as a drunk they will not respect you.

Generally, I am a fantastic drunk. I am everyone’s friend when I’m drunk. I can also get a little rowdy. However, people will not know you for the wonderful, intelligent and cultured person you are. I am one of those people. I want people to know me for those things. Recently, I got put on a slag list of the village by which the top 20 village slags are displayed. The thing is I’m not a slag. Sometimes I wish it was justified to be on the list because then I’d at least get some sex or at least be confident enough to attempt at getting with someone. However, I don’t and hence practically chast. Moreover, it did upset me a little to be put on the list. The fact the someone can be so nasty (and anonymous) about it. Sigh. 

I want to be healthy.

I was to be a competitive hockey player, it wont be at any great level but it’s a target for me and a reasonable focus. If I keep drinking, smoking and the like I can imagine dying of a heart attack. Also, I’m vain and want a good body. 

There you go, Mags is being serious about this. Not a funny explanation. I will do this and I will be fit and healthy. 

M x

The Problem with the Fat

What is too fat?

I am of the opinion that some people are larger than others. For example, I’m quite slim. Whether I’m thin because I do the odd sit up here and there or because my meals aren’t epic in proportion I really don’t know. Maybe it’s genetic. No one in my family is particularly large. Maybe I have a fast metabolism, my body is burning my fat and energy at a rate which keeps me slim. Whatever the reason may be I am slim and I often hear the jokes…a gust of wind and you’ll be away…turn to face me because I can’t see you side on,…etc.

However, I’m not overly fattist. Some people are a little larger than me and just as there are many reasons as to why someone might be thinner than others there are reasons as to why some people are larger than others. Maybe one is predisposed genetically to be larger, maybe one’s metabolism is naturally slower, maybe one might have a larger appetite, maybe one has depression, etc.

There is nothing wrong with being slightly larger that a size 8, hey you might even get up to a size 14 or pushing it a 16 (or the male equivalent). But there is something that I absolutely reject to, and to be honest abhor the thought, of and that is that of seeing a whale of a male human, sat in MacDonald’s, munching on an extra large Big Mac meal.

Just to set the scene I was walking past a McDonald’s ‘restaurant’ in Manchester and peered in to see this advertisement for heart disease. I felt uneasy with the size of this man, but I’m also uneasy with the fact that the people in McDonald’s served this guy. I’m not too sure where I heard this analogy but someone once told me that as it is illegal to serve people in a bar who are obviously overly inebriated surely it should be illegal for an institution like McDonald’s to serve someone who is obese. Surely? And remember when George Best failed to stop drinking after a liver transplant? The abuse he got because he needed another transplant was, justifiably, horrific.

The damage these fast food outlets are doing is epic. However, I’m not going to go on a rant about how McDonald’s and other fast food establishments are intrinsically evil (even though they are). And I wont bore you with the fact that McDonald’s are the largest distributor of toys in the world (how to get a child hooked on fast food - give it a toy). 

My personal belief is that people (consumers) need to take responsibly for their own state of affairs. This man who was easily 25stone+, obese, and obviously knew this fact was still in McDonald’s munching on a greasy burger. Maybe he likes being that way? Maybe he likes being larger than average, hence he feels comfortable eating fast food. Maybe society has made being thin the desired thing and that this man is rebelling against this rule? I’ll always back a person with a cause. However, I’m very much against people who are wasteful and gluttonous. We all like a treat every now and again but when there are people doing without and you’re eating for five there arises an issue. 

Also, so you are aware Mr McDonald’s man there are health issues which WILL arise from your situation. Problems that will be dealt with by the NHS. They follow:

• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Diabetes
• Cancer
• Gout
• Joint Problem
• Gallbladder disease
• Sleep apnoea
• Osteoarthritis

What is the contribution to the treatment of these diseases many obese people make? Well I’m not sure, but £80m a year is paid out to people through Incapacity Benefit for those who are too fat to work. If that was me I should and would feel quite ashamed. 

Writing this blog many might think that I’m some kind of fat Nazi. That when I see an majorly overweight person, I think that because I’m not fat I’m disgusted. I’m not. Some people are just plain fat and that’s fine. I’m just a little annoyed when people fail to understand the reason why they’re obese, either that or simply to ignore it like the man in McDonald’s earlier. In his case it was plain ignorant, selfish and irresponsible. Irresponsible to society and also to those who love him.

There are those that suggest that eating fast food and generally unhealthy food regularly is an addiction or an affliction. That it’s a mental health problem as oppose to be due to any other contributor. It could possibly be (I personally don’t believe this). Habitual eating can maybe be attributed to said causes but if we look at other mental illnesses we can quite easily formulate rules and behaviours that will overcome this problem. What does a mental health expert say to someone who, for the sake of an example, has an anxiety disorder? There are several options available to this patient. The first being to change certain behaviours. Consider what you eat, drink and what situations bring out the anxiety. Brain training if you will. The second being prescribed drugs. Now I would like to say that the obese person, if obesity is a disease, would need to consider changing their behaviours, to realise that eating a massive burger, when you’re over 25 stone, isn’t going to help the situation. It’s not a hard point to get really is it? Stop eating the bad foods and have a better quality of life. Yeh?

…I am the master of my life, I am the captain of my soul

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